[ti:Word Crimes]
[ar:Weird Al Yankovic]
[al:Mandatory Fun]
[by:lrc.d4321.com]
[00:00.660] [Intro]
[00:01.390] Everybody shut up, WOO!
[00:06.930] Everyone listen up!
[00:10.570] Hey, hey, hey
[00:11.410] Hey, hey, hey
[00:13.460] Hey, hey, hey
[00:14.630] [Verse 1]
[00:17.310] If you can't write in the proper way
[00:21.630] If you don't know how to conjugate
[00:25.240] Maybe you flunked that class
[00:27.550] And maybe now you find
[00:29.520] That people mock you online
[00:32.290] [Bridge]
[00:33.030] Okay, now here's the deal
[00:35.550] I'll try to educate ya
[00:37.470] Gonna familiarize
[00:39.390] You with the nomenclature
[00:41.400] You'll learn the definitions
[00:43.390] Of nouns and prepositions
[00:45.450] Literacy's your mission
[00:47.360] [Chorus]
[00:48.100] And that's why I think it's a good time
[00:50.950] To learn some grammar
[00:52.920] Now, did I stammer
[00:54.660] Work on that grammar
[00:56.260] You should know when
[00:59.150] It's "less" or it's "fewer"
[01:00.910] Like people who were
[01:02.790] Never raised in a sewer
[01:04.670] I hate these word crimes
[01:07.030] Like I could care less
[01:08.800] That means you do care
[01:11.870] At least a little
[01:12.840] Don't be a moron
[01:14.730] You'd better slow down
[01:16.580] And use the right pronoun
[01:19.260] Show the world you're no clown
[01:20.270] [Verse 2]
[01:20.840] Say you got a "It"
[01:22.130] Followed by apostrophe, "s"
[01:24.290] Now what does that mean?
[01:26.550] You would not use "it’s" in this case
[01:28.650] As a possessive
[01:30.380] It's a contraction
[01:32.070] What's a contraction?
[01:34.070] Well, it's the shortening of a word, or a group of words
[01:36.310] By the omission of a sound or letter
[01:36.950] [Bridge]
[01:37.230] Okay, now here's some notes
[01:38.460] Syntax you’re always mangling
[01:40.340] No X in "Espresso"
[01:42.070] Your participle's danglin'
[01:44.160] But I don't want your drama
[01:46.260] If you really wanna
[01:48.270] Leave out that Oxford comma
[01:49.620] [Chorus]
[01:50.210] "be", "see", "are", "you"
[01:52.810] Are words, not letters
[01:56.290] Get it together
[01:58.180] Use your spellchecker
[01:59.810] You should never
[02:01.910] Write words using numbers
[02:03.500] Unless you're seven
[02:05.460] Or your name is Prince
[02:07.470] I hate these word crimes
[02:09.740] You really need a
[02:11.580] Full-time proofreader
[02:13.360] You dumb mouthbreather
[02:15.250] Well, you should hire
[02:17.570] Some cunning linguist
[02:19.100] To help you distinguish
[02:21.010] What is proper English
[02:22.520] [Verse 3]
[02:23.170] One thing I ask of you
[02:24.980] Time to learn your homophones is past due
[02:27.170] Learn to diagram a sentence too
[02:29.050] Always say to whom
[02:30.210] Don't ever say to who
[02:31.170] And listen up when I tell you this
[02:33.030] I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis
[02:35.150] You finished second grade
[02:36.370] I hope you can tell
[02:37.240] If you're doing good or doing well
[02:38.930] Figure out the difference
[02:41.110] Irony is not coincidence
[02:42.890] And, I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull
[02:44.850] What's figurative and what's literal
[02:46.820] Oh but, just now, you said
[02:48.860] You "literally couldn't get out of bed"
[02:51.030] That really makes me want to literally
[02:52.720] Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head
[02:54.450] [Chorus]
[02:54.850] I read your e-mail
[02:56.990] It's quite apparent
[02:58.830] Your grammar's errant
[03:00.580] You're incoherent
[03:02.500] Saw your blog post
[03:04.450] It's really fantastic
[03:06.660] That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)
[03:08.660] ’Cause you write like a spastic
[03:10.190] I hate these Word Crimes
[03:12.890] Your prose is *****
[03:14.780] Think you should only
[03:16.460] Write in emoji
[03:18.370] Oh, you're a lost cause
[03:20.890] Go back to preschool
[03:22.560] Get out of the gene pool
[03:24.320] Try your best to not drool
[03:25.980] [Outro]
[03:26.580] Never mind, I give up
[03:28.860] Really now, I give up
[03:33.290] Hey, hey, hey
[03:35.450] Hey, hey, hey
[03:37.450] Go Away!