[ti:Close But No Cigar]
[ar:Weird Al Yankovic]
[al:Straight Outta Lynwood]
[by:lrc.d4321.com]
[00:04.870] Album:Straight Outta Lynwood
[00:07.780] Jillian was her name
[00:10.580] She was sweeter than aspartame
[00:14.080] Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
[00:17.870] And after that I never was the same
[00:21.950] And I loved her even more
[00:25.310] Than Marlon Brando loved souffle
[00:28.490] She was gorgeous, she was charming
[00:32.010] Yeah, she was perfect in every way
[00:36.140] Except she was always using the word "infer"
[00:40.020] When she obviously meant "imply"
[00:43.940] And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
[00:47.400] But frankly, I can't imagine why
[00:50.670] And I told her, I said
[00:51.870] "Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
[00:55.180] No, I don't think we are!
[00:58.020] You're close! (Close!)
[01:00.340] But no cigar!"
[01:03.760] Yankovic-Close But No Cigar
[01:07.000] Then I met sweet young Janet
[01:09.430] Prettiest thing on the planet
[01:13.120] Had a body hotter than a habanjero
[01:17.490] She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
[01:20.820] And I was crazy like Manson about her
[01:23.970] She got me all choked up like Momma Cass
[01:28.350] She had a smile so incredibly radiant
[01:31.440] You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
[01:35.620] I thought after all these years of searching around
[01:39.400] I'd found my soulmate finally
[01:42.550] But one day I found OUT she actually owned a copy
[01:46.990] Of Joe Dirt on DVD
[01:49.810] Oh, no! I said
[01:50.960] "Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
[01:54.890] No I don't think we are!
[01:57.320] You're close! (Close!)
[01:59.750] Oh, so very close! (Close!)
[02:03.920] Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close!)
[02:07.010] So close!
[02:08.940] But no cigar!"
[02:15.990] (Oh, yeah!)
[02:19.630] (Oh, no!)
[02:22.300] (Oh, yeah!)
[02:25.090] (Oh, no!)
[02:26.710] (ALL RIGHT!)
[02:30.690] [Hand claps, trumpet solo]
[02:35.660] Julie played water polo
[02:37.970] She wore a ribbon on her left manolo
[02:42.160] She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
[02:46.000] My heart was beating like a Buddy Rif solo
[02:49.910] And she was everything I've dreamed of
[02:53.420] She moved right up to #1 on my list
[02:56.960] And did I mention she's a world famous billionare
[03:00.650] Bikini supermodel astrophysicist
[03:04.340] Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
[03:07.940] Look like a big fat slobbering pig
[03:11.570] The only caveat is one of her earlobes
[03:15.660] Was just a little tiny bit too big
[03:18.720] I said
[03:19.890] "Hey! Are we doing government work here?
[03:23.310] No I don't think we are!
[03:25.890] You're close! (Close!)
[03:28.350] So very, very close! (Close!)
[03:32.250] Aaw, baby, you're close! (Close!)
[03:36.070] So close!
[03:37.210] But no cigar!"
[03:39.760] Missed it by that much! (No cigar!)
[03:42.220] Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar!)
[03:45.890] Really, really, really close! (No cigar!)